there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
