Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
