I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
