ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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