Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
