I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
