yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I think my fart just growled at me.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
