remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
