Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
