Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Come share oat with me in your robe
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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