Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize