what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I fill condoms, not promises.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
