i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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