my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
