Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
