so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
