Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize