im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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