Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize