a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
