Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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