Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
