Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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