to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
