I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize