If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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