Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
