did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
