before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
