Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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