note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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