I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
