bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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