My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
