Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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