I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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