Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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