Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
