And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
