no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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