Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
