i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
