ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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