I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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