So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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