So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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