The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
