dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
