exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
