is wine microwaveable?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
