I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
