This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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