After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
