She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
