I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I cut my penus on the lid.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
we should paint friendship bongs
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
