Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
