The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
