drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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