Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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